The Power of LOVE: We are not just our Sisters' Keepers; We are Sisters



Seven Degrees of Sigma



Jessica & Carl



On Sunday, my prissy poodle sorors of Seven Degrees of Sigma hosted a baby shower for our Torch classmate Jessica. It was all for little Jackson, who will make his debut in a few weeks. It was truly the power of love that made this baby shower everything it was and ever could be. I have nephews, nieces, and god kids, but Jackson will be the first baby of our Fall 2005 class. I don't really mean to toot our own horn, but we are a really close group of ladies. We are not just our SISTERS' KEEPERS; WE ARE SISTERS! I honestly couldn't ask for a better group of ladies to call my Torch classmates or TCMs. We are Seven Degrees of Sigma. The description describes us to the T. We have different personalities. My Torch classmate April wrote a poem about Seven Degrees of Sigma that I actually see frequently shared on other chapters and sorority sisters' pages. This is the poem she wrote:

 

Way back in 2005 before our neopresentation



I am serene.

But a true revolutionary

My face shows exultance and power.

Intelligence is my forte.

My strength is in the alluvian

While my beauty vogues above others.

I transcend above others

I am a degree that can be compared to none other I am Sigma

We cried together, laughed together, and supported each other in various times. I am thankful for each and every one of these ladies. When my mom passed, all six of the Torch classmates were there to support me during my time of need. I knew I had family and friends supporting me, but it really made my day to have them there as well. I feel like overall we come together for each other often for different occasions because of the love that we share for each other as sisters. This time, the occasion was the preparation of Jackson. I pray Jessica has an awesome delivery (when Jackson decides he's ready to come) and Jackson comes into the world healthy and immediately knows that he is loved by so many people.

<3 Starkey

A Pipe Dream just needs a little bit of Draino



First, I would like to apologize for not writing as frequently as I would like to, but I've had a pretty interesting schedule lately. It's okay because I know everything that I am doing right now is falling within my purpose. This post relates to being purposeful and turning dreams into reality. I hope you enjoy it, my fellow PHREAdom Followers!

A pipe dream isn't really a pipe dream, but rather a dream that just needs a little bit of Draino to flush it out into the world. A pipe dream, as defined in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is merely a fantasy of a plan, hope, or story. My personal thought is that it is only a pipe dream if you just let that idea sit and you do nothing with it. This is similar to its origin of a pipe dream where individuals hallucinated while smoking opium back in the 19th century. Individuals got high on an idea, but once the high was gone so was the idea.



McLyte at boule



The idea of following through with a plan or hope may seem difficult and fear could take over, but one may never know how easy it could've been if he or she never developed and expanded on the idea. It takes faith and trust. For instance, I am reminded of our great leaders of the past and present like Dr. Martin Luther King or President Barack Obama, who if they had not pushed their dreams forward some things may not have changed. What if Dr. King did not push the issue of equal rights nor shared his powerful "I Have a Dream" speech because of one too many road blocks? Or better yet, what if President Obama gave up on his dream of becoming the President of the United States? They both pushed those dreams forward and made a difference in the lives of others. Our dreams may not be as big as theirs, but it can still be impactful.

My soror, McLyte said we must "dream with a purpose" at the National Education Fund Luncheon during Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.'s Boule in New Orleans, La.

Therefore, if we dream with a purpose and work hard at it then it may become a reality. Don't sell yourself short because what may seem like a pipe dream to some may be an extraordinary purposeful vision that requires a little bit of Draino to push it out.

<3 Starkey

Always PHREA logo and it's meaning

Greetings my PHREAdom Followers! It's been a while since I have posted anything on my blog. I know, I know I must do better. I will. I'm working on balancing everything right now between grad school, work, and life. However, it hasn't been all work though. I've been playing hard and enjoying every bit of it. One thing that always brings peace to my busy life is thinking about PHREA and where I want to take it. Yesterday, I designed a logo for Always PHREA, which I am debating about naming my online magazine that instead of PHREA all by itself. This logo represents everything that I want it to...it should capture the want for you to discover those endless possibilities just as I have.

Yesterday, I posted the logo on Facebook and everyone was trying to figure out the key points to it. Therefore, I decided to share it on my blog. The design captures four different aspects to my life. They are the following: 1) bees represent my mom, Anna B., 2) the four bees at the top represents my four siblings, 3) the five bees between each letter of PHREA represents my journey in Sigma Gamma Rho, and 4) yellow is my favorite color!
I'll be writing more frequently again so please be on the lookout. There are more great things to come for Always PHREA.

<3 Starkey

MY 20 THINGS TO REMEMBER:

I compiled this list of things as a constant reminder, I call it my 20 Things to Remember.

MY 20 THINGS TO REMEMBER
1) YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF ANNA AND DANIEL
2) YOU ARE PHENOMENAL
3) YOU ARE ALLUVIAN
4) YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD
5) WRITE, DON'T THINK
6) FOLLOW YOUR HEART NOT YOUR MIND
7) MAKE TIME FOR CRYSTAL SOMETIMES
8) SET YOUR PRIORITIES
9) STOP OVERCOMMITTING YOURSELF
10) YOU DON'T HAVE TO A BUY A FRIENDSHIP
11) UNDERSTAND WHAT LOVE IS AND ISN'T
12) SIGMA IS A PART OF YOUR LIFE, NOT YOUR LIFE
13) IT'S OKAY TO JUST HAVE FUN
14) SEPARATE PLAY FROM BUSINESS
15) IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS AS LONG AS YOUR HAPPY
16) WRITING IS INSTILLED IN YOU
17) THE WORLD IN YOUR EYES IS FILLED WITH DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES
18) YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY
19) DON'T TAKE THINGS SO SERIOUSLY
20) EVERYBODY DOESN'T HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART. KEEP DOING YOU!

Because of Anna B.



My mom and I

 Today was the first time in a while that I cried. I was rummaging through my tote full of photos trying to purge and pack for my move next week. In the process, one picture stood out amongst all of the other hundreds and hundreds of photos. It was a picture of my mom smiling. I'm sure you all know by now that my mom died three years ago. I rubbed the picture as if I was feeling her physical presence as the tears fell from my eyes. All I could say is that "I'm working hard to make you proud of me, Momma!" That's why I worked two jobs. That's why I'm back in school to pursue my dreams. I am doing it because she raised me as a single parent with four children barely making it, and I just want to show her what I've become of it despite the adversities. She put your children above everything. I am just the same. I will give someone I cared about my last as long as it was what they needed. It's the giver in me. A day like today forced me to take time and truly appreciate the legacy my mom left. I am a product of Anna B.

Letting It Go

How many times have you tried to let something go? It could've been emotionally, physically, or even mentally. We've all played witness to this process. We spend time trying to find ways to let issues and problems go, instead of simply just letting it go. I know I'm a firm believer of this battle. The idea of just letting go is extremely difficult for me because I'm a thinker. I have to process everything that I do especially any major decisions.

For instance, right now I'm in the process of finding my own place. Yes, at 27-years-old I've never lived by myself. I grew up in a family of five. I'm used to someone being around me so this idea of moving on my own is a little scary. It has nothing to do with the bills, amenities, or distance. I'm just a little scared of letting go of my comfort zone. However, I know for 1- I can't let me being "scared" stop me and 2- I know God's got it. So needless to say, I've put on my grown woman pants and made some moves today. I'm letting it go and opening the doors to a new opportunity.

When I think of letting go, I'm reminded of a poem I read by Jennifer Eckert Bernau called "She Let It Go." "She Let It Go" is a profound poem about a woman who let something go, but she didn't rely on anything to help her "letting go" process. She just let it go. Sometimes it's really just that simple to just dust it off and move on. Bernau's words moved me so much that I had to share it with you. I hope "She Let It Go" moves you like it did for me.

She Let It Go by Jennifer Eckert Bernau
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.
She let go of judgments.
She let go of confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the 'right' reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice.
She didn't read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn't promise to let go.
She didn't journal about it.
She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement.
She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn't analyze whether she should let go.
She didn't call her friends to disuss the matter.
She didn't utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn't good. It wasn't bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Here's to giving ourselves the gift of letting....
There's only one guru-- you.

<3 Starkey

Dear Graduate

Dear Graduate,

As you prepare to walk across the stage and receive your degree, I am reminded of a quote by Ralph Emerson that says, "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail." You spent years preparing for this moment. You took courses in sociology, biology, ethics, economics- micro and macro, quantitative methods, or my personal favorite-media law. I am sure you wondered while sitting in these courses especially if it is not your major, why are you taking this? I definitely did. I could not fathom why I needed to take these courses if I just wanted to write. However, I realized college was a gigantic sponge with so much information for me to soak up to use in my future. Therefore, as you take your last walk around campus, receive guidance from your favorite professors or advisor, or hang out with your college friends, remember life outside is an even larger sponge waiting for you to add your experience and knowledge to it.

Crystal - Class of 2007

When I graduated in 2007, I was not sure what the path led for me, but I knew I wanted to leave a trail. I knew that whatever I did I was going to make a difference in the lives of others. I went home after college, and it was the best decision ever made after looking at everything now. My daddy said if you do not have a job then you are off to Summerville. Needless to say, after less than two hours and four packed to the max cars later, I left Winthrop University after receiving my degree in Mass Communications with a concentration in Journalism. The following year, I learned about strength and faith in God. I helped my mom, aunt, and cousins aid my ailing grandmother up to her passing. I knew I made a difference because Granny always smiled at me. I knew all I experienced and learned at Winthrop did not go in vain because she was proud of me. However, the following year when I lost my mother, I felt so empty and hopeless inside. I felt like I lost everything in the blink of an eye. I remember a few months before she passed, we talked about me moving back to Rock Hill. She told me to do what makes me happy. When she passed, it was the hardest thing ever, but after praying to God and thinking about that conversation she and I shared, I knew it was time to spread my wings because that is what she would have wanted.

For the past three years since I have been back to Rock Hill, I created a longer trail to my purpose. It had its curves, jagged edges, falls, and mountains. However, I realized it was my own trail. It was important for me to learn that. So today, I am telling you that your tomorrow may not go as you hoped it would, but remember that if you are creating a trail then you will reach those endless possibilities at the right time. Enjoy every moment because all of your hopes and dreams will unfold when you least expect it! It did for me, and I pray it does for you!

<3 Starkey

P.S. Special shoutout to the Class of 2012 graduates receiving either undergraduate or graduate degrees especially Kyvia Crisco, Devon Perry, Aisha Yates, Ashley Weston, Lisa Orumm, Laurenn Chambers, Lolita Gayden, Amber Brown, and Kayauna Wiggins. I hope I didn’t miss anybody!!! Congrats! Congrats! Congrats!

It's been a long time...

I can't believe this is my first official post on my own blog, Always PHREA! It's been a long time coming, but I'm so excited about the endless possibilities of this journey that I am about to embark on as I rediscover and fall back in love with PHREA. I'm sure all of my Twitter followers wonder what is PHREA? It's actually pronounced free. It's an acronym which means Passion, Hope, Respect, Empowerment and Ambition. I actually detailed my journey in the About PHREA tab for those who want to know more about it.

This past week, I've experienced changes and opportunities in my life that will shape and mold my future to something beyond amazing. I knew those changes and opportunities came from God. I felt that it was His way of telling me to take that leap of faith and follow my purpose which is PHREA. So on this early Thursday morning, I'm doing just that. I'm letting you all into my world of PHREA. I want to encourage you to become a PHREAdom member and follow my blog. I pray that while reading about my endless possibilities, you will in return be able to do the same. Discover your endless possibility.

I want to thank my PHREAdom believers. You all kept pushing and encouraging me to get back to my PURPOSE of writing. I'm so thankful to have individuals like you in my life. Therefore, this is for you, you and especially YOU!